Hope

Some people have to be reminded to keep hope alive, reach for it out of the mire, believe it’s there even when they can’t see it...

Not me.

I’m a sucker for it, an idiot over it and will bite at the first hint of it.

I am addicted to hope, and I search for it everywhere. I assume there will always be a big fat bunch of hope around. When it gets thin and scarce I get a little edgy and start scrounging for more, demanding for it, begging for it...

When I finally give up (if I every really do), and convince myself I can live without it I’ll see some tiny evidence that there's still some reason to hope and I’ll lunge...

I don’t even wait for it to actually show itself...a shadow is good enough to keep me going....

Problem is, I'll hold on in spite of all evidence to the contrary. It can be a crushing adjustment when I have to deal with reality.

Maybe it's because (as my husband recently reminded me when talking about how perhaps I was expecting too much at work), I was raised to think I was, in his words, "the shit." So since I'm "the shit", won't life the hell work out for me?

Well, a girl can always hope.