Thunderstorms

This afternoon the weather was building for about three hours--it just kept getting darker and darker. I started to hear the thunder in small rumbles at first, then the wind picked up and out of nowhere it got really loud.

It was a huge thunderstorm—at least to me. I could see big bolts of lightning touching the water, sometimes for several seconds, then the thunder would crack and it seemed like the sky was splitting open right overhead.

The rain started suddenly—I’m guessing we got a couple of inches in the two hours it lasted. With all the water hitting the windows I couldn’t even see out to watch it after awhile. I hunkered down inside with my dog and hoped the power wouldn’t go out.

I texted Kevin that the dog didn’t like thunderstorms…He accused me of being the scared one...

The storm finally rolled through and it stopped raining, but it stayed so cloudy there was almost no sunset when I finally got out on the beach to walk. There was just one thick red streak in the midst of the super-dark, gray sky.

Beautiful, but a bit ominous...it wasn't quite over.

And now, in the middle of the night, I was just half-woken up by flashes of lightning and the rest of the way by another text from Kevin. An hour behind, he’s in New Mexico this week getting the heads-up on the new job and checking out the new house.

I lay in bed trying to go back to sleep but the weather wouldn’t let me…at least I think it was the weather. The flashes outside are constant, like natural paparazzi cameras trying to get pictures of something out over the Gulf.

What is it that is demanding all this attention, creating all this energy?

I’m up for a snack and hopefully a little peace of mind after I write a little and the storms settle down--Maybe I need to get some stuff off my chest before I can get back to sleep....

The truth is thunderstorms do scare me. I love them when I can sit somewhere safe and watch the show with someone, but when alone I just want to turn inward and I find myself wishing they would get quieter and calm down, that I didn’t have to feel the unsteadiness in the atmosphere.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to them…they are just so loud and dominating, requiring all my attention. There’s nothing to do but hold steady and wait for them to subside, wait for the feelings to subside.

Is there something they are trying to tell me?