Losing It

I called in an order to Subway to buy sandwiches for the movers.

"Can't you just come in?" the lady said, unhelpfully. No, I could not, I said, and asked her if she wanted me to go elsewhere.

"That's up to you," she said. Of course I didn't want to go elsewhere, they are the closest, so I sucked it up and made her take my phone order.

I called to cancel our internet service. The Verizon man canceled it that second without asking WHEN I wanted it canceled...which would be Friday. "Well you didn't say that," he said. He didn't ask. Isn't it his job to ask? And everyone knows that once the cancel order goes in there's no taking it back....I got transferred to India and back three times trying to get it back on...40 minutes later I gave up.

I let some stuff get packed that shouldn't have gotten packed.

I can't seem to communicate with my husband without a misunderstanding...he finally said, "Are you feeling really stressed about this move?" I tell him no, it's very possible that he, the Subway lady and the Verizon people are all giving me a hard time...It's not me.

Then there was the jackass driver who wouldn't go even though he got the the four-way stop before me, and the other one who was holding up traffic while cruising for a parking spot...oh wait...that was me.

Later, while sitting outside in denial about the four men of color who were breaking their backs to move my stuff, two young twenty-something men (not of color) in short-sleeved, white shirts and ties came walking up--Of course they did.

They sat with me in the shade and played with my dog while I told them I was de-toxing from religion. I suggested maybe they could relate...but they couldn't really, they were so cool and comfortable with their "truths," even on a hot day like today.

One of them asked me how we find truth--I told them we have to battle for it. They asked me what our purpose was on earth and I said to become ourselves--they agreed. Apparently that philosophy fits in some tiny way with the "pre-earth" lives we all had....Wow.

They suggested the "Holy Ghost" would lead me to truth, and I wouldn't be frustrated forever, not knowing the answers.

"God I hope so," I said.

This day needs to end.