Today

Today I know better.
Today should be great.
Today I don’t have to be anywhere.
Today it is not too cold.
Today is sunny and beautiful.
Today I get to decide almost everything.

Today I should feel free, good and alive…

But...

Today I know better.
Today I feel wistful, wanting.
Today there’s an ache in my chest.
Today I am fearfully inadequate to make my way through the dysfunction and delusion.
Today I’m dragging my feet.

Today I just want to stay here, on the fringe of life and hole-up.

But...

Today I know better.
Today I’ll take a step or two--
Today I’ll thrown down a little with life.
Today I'll write a little something.
Today I'll let tasks and busyness carry me.
Today the view will change and the ache will ease.

Today I will try not to expect too much.